Sunday, November 13, 2016

Us Playing in the Ruins

They made a statue of us
Then put it on a mountain top

The tourists come and stare at us
Blow bubbles with their gum
Take photographs of fun, have/of fun

They'll name a city after us
And later say it's all our fault
Then they'll give us a talking to
Then they'll give us a talking to
Cause they've got years of experience

Living in a den of thieves
Rummaging for answers in the pages
Living in a den of thieves
And its contagious
And its contagious
And its contagious
And its contagious

Us by Regina Spektor
I call this photograph, “Us, playing in the ruins.” I made this picture while on a trip to Europe last summer. On a bus in the eastern part of France with a group of Andrew Marvell scholars (don’t ask), someone said that if the UK votes to leave the European Union, it’s more likely that the United States will vote to elect Donald Trump as president. I remember thinking, “We won’t let that happen.” My belief in this “we," while technically a majority, was not enough to prevent a Trump presidency. 

Sure many presidents, maybe all, have been sexist, racist, and xenophobic more or less, but we (yes this we) were better than that, better than those who mobilized because of Trump’s racist and misogynistic rhetoric. He bragged about assaulting women. What woman would vote for him? Apparently, the majority of white women who voted. 

I wanted to see the first woman elected president of the United States. The morning of November 9, I cried. Assholes, aka anyone on or watching Fox News, think we were whiny little children for crying. Every brilliant, intelligent, educated, creative woman I know cried that morning. Why? Not because we have emotional problems as one facebook friend claimed (a woman to my chagrin), but because any woman with any ambition knows what it’s like to be passed over. We know what it’s like to work harder and longer, to be tougher and more intelligent than your male opponents and to be told, “No, we don’t want you. Because. There’s something about you.” That something is called “ambition” and it scares the shit out of men. To her credit, Hillary didn't cry. When she could've been devastated, she consoled women and told girls they could do anything. 

We know from this election that misogyny, hatred, and distrust of women permeates American culture. This is definitively bad and heartbreaking. In addition to crapping on women’s rights, we’ve elected climate change deniers. I have very little hope we can stop these guys from deregulating companies that pollute our air, earth, and water. We were making progress there. Even the most cynical about politics can admit that. Now, it looks hopeless.

Back to Brexit.

I remember in Munich we were in a church, one that had been rebuilt because it was bombed out during World War II. In the church I saw flowers with a note, “UK Please don’t leave us.” By the time I read that note, the votes were in and it happened. Folks in the EU were genuinely heartsick over the decision. It seemed with the war in Syria and the refugee crisis, panic over welcoming refugees ignited isolationism throughout the western world. The bigots seized this and ran.

The day I took "Us, playing in the ruins," we were on the grounds of the Schönbrunn Palace in Vienna. Rather than pay and wait in line to get into the palace, we took Rick Steve’s recommendation to walk the grounds. We brought champagne, ate sandwiches and I lugged my large format camera with me. I am working on a new project tentatively titled “Dream Homes” so I set out to photograph for that project. But the palace wasn’t that interesting. I didn’t make a good photograph of it anyway. 



What did draw my eye was off to the side of the hill on the grounds, there's an arch. Two figurative sculptures, of a man and woman, seemed to duck away in the tall grass. It was unkept, wild, and the arch was in disrepair. The light was perfect.

When we travel, we visit public places where walking and gawking isn’t frownd upon. Typically there are a number of monuments and statues at these public spaces. And I always think of the Regina Spektor’s song, Us. “They made a statue of us. And put it on a mountain top.” Once you memorialize a thing, it’s pretty much dead, a view of the past. I think that is what Regina means when singing about being made into a statue. She's describing a relationship that no longer exists, that fell apart.

I’ve lost a lot of hope in the “we” I believed in so firmly last summer. “Living in a den of thieves. Rummaging for answers in the pages. Living in a den of thieves. And it's contagious.” Turns out, I am surrounded by this silent majority. 

There’s something about being in the ruins of your perspective and hopes. My friend wrote that her artist friends must continue to make art now more than ever. Making art is a way of playing, of investigating, of researching, of shaping. There's us, playing in the ruins and creating in the ruins. I only hope to continue to play in the ruins, with all my friends smiling and watching around me. And through the destruction and play, we give life to something new.

Wednesday, March 2, 2016

Once Upon a Time

A while ago, I curated an exhibition called deTerritorialization. It's a show I think about a lot. I think about recreating it again. I am looking to apply to a curatorial fellowship and returned to the idea. The exhibit included work by Kim Beck and Jenny Kendler. Then I found something I wrote about the exhibit and never used it and figured, why not publish it here.

The real curatorial essay for deTerritorialization, the honest one.

While I am no longer a gallery director, I still get to see the last season of exhibitions I curated via photographs on Facebook. When I curated shows for the upcoming season, I wrote a general curatorial statement about the overall theme of the exhibitions, namely that I wanted to talk about the transformative power of objects in a given space. I wanted to investigate how we demarcate and claim spaces through objects and how these choices, objects, and audiences reflect and inform social relations inside and outside the gallery space. But really, I curated this exhibition season because of a very specific moment in my career as a curator.

Last year, I attended a national conference and sat in on all the panels on exhibition development, with their savvy (braggy) presenters. Most of the presenters mentioned site specificity and community engagement when they spoke of creating exhibitions at an academic institution. I admire this approach, but I found it difficult to do in my then current position. One presenter at one panel said an art gallery was taken away on campus, so they “took over” the library and made exhibitions about the building’s mission, the people it served, and thus found a way to continue making art a part of campus life. Great idea. This is innovative, this is genius, I thought and wrote. Shortly thereafter, I also wrote: But I can’t do that where I work now. Why did I think that? What were the constraints and the parameters that made me think this ideal was futile? The last exhibition season I curated was an investigation of these questions.




works by Kim Beck. Her pieces can be seen here


I lived and worked in a very small town in Indiana as a nonprofit art administrator, so I can say with certainty that my feeling of hitting specific walls, curatorially speaking, had little to do with not being in a big city with cosmopolitan ideas. In Indiana, a good amount of the town was a canvas on which to make site-specific works and public art projects. The benefactors and community members welcomed that mentality and ensured that art was a core part of the town’s make up. They didn’t care how or even where (at least that’s how it seemed). Just get the art out there already! Make it happen! That was how a community can shape its arts and culture. The galleries I directed South Dakota came with a much different mindset, especially in the academic community. Most noticeable for me, right away, was that folks in the arts fought over and about the galleries-nearly constantly. Little did I know, I had been dropped into an academic combat zone. Goodie.

Granted, they were petty squabbles but ones that manifested in very real ways, like a completely neglected sculpture garden so pathetic that one conservator advised: “don’t even try to fix this in the next five years. In fact, this is a 10 year project.” There was also a collection of art dispersed across campus, most of which was in some state of disrepair or completely lost. The fighting, the squabbles, and lack of consensus about the appropriate place for the arts on this campus literally manifested in the degraded state of the art objects themselves. This lack of community consensus over the proper space and place for the arts produced an ironic, residual homelessness for most of the art objects entrusted to the people there. There was literally not enough storage space to house everything. Many objects were literally lost “boys” if you will, caste out into the world with no security.

I say ironic because just as the art objects already under the institution’s stewardship fell into disrepair, a sparkly new sculpture walk came to campus. (And no, the neglected sculpture garden was not a part of this sculpture walk. Because that would have been too obvious?) The sculpture walk was a reigning endorsement that the arts were alive and well on a campus. See, look at that nondescript sculpture (aka apolitical abstract bronze monstrosity) that has nothing to do with the community in front of the business school! It says, “We care about the arts.” All while the majority of the institution’s visual art objects lay in shambles, dispersed amongst buildings collecting spider webs and dust, out of the public’s eye, attention, and of little concern. One of my former colleagues, an art professor, called this dispersal of art in the hallways, “the graveyard.”

As a curator, I literally felt like the walls were closing in on me when it came to putting art shows together because I had never heard so much brouhaha about what art should go where and who should be most instrumental in the creation of art exhibitions. Without a clear vision in place before my arrival, it seemed like anything and any idea was up for grabs. I quickly learned that this is VERY common at MOST places and diplomats learn to deal with it. In fact, there are supportive message boards that essentially say, “stay strong” and “you’ll get through this” for university arts administrators saddled with advisory boards comprised of hapless art professors. These professors who very often help hire the curators, like to spend considerable time, without solicitation, telling curators which kinds of exhibitions should take place on campus. Because let me tell you, “If there was one thing I really didn’t know how to do it’s putting art shows together. Forget helping me fundraise, or reaching out to other faculty to build interdisciplinary academic programs around our collection. Forget even bothering to bring your class to the exhibitions. What I really need is for you to tell me what kinds of shows to curate. Uh duh.” She resumes with her finger in her nose.

I was pretty naïve about the politics in academe but I later learned that what I witnessed and experienced was a “theory of the impoverished” where people fight over breadcrumbs instead of demanding a larger slice of bread that would adequately feed everyone.

That the concept of scarcity reigned supreme in a state as big, as spread out, and unpopulated (relatively speaking) in SD, was the most baffling thing for me. To highlight this contradiction, artists from New York and Boston would visit the galleries in astonishment: “It’s a HUGE space,” they said. How could it be that there was not enough space or that the spaces were not good enough in the minds of the people living and working there? Perhaps when people fought over territories for art, they were really talking about resources, such as money, faculty lines, and better opportunities to bring in bigger shows. I completely understood that. Because those of us plugging away to make the arts a thing in that part of the world was a very real challenge. What I did not ever understand was the reasoning in these debates about art galleries as territories.



These images above by Jenny Kendler. Her work can be seen here


On the positive, yet ambivalent, side of the arguments, many wanted to build more areas for displaying art without addressing the ones that already existed (Hello! We already have a shitty sculpture garden!!! Why not work on improving that?). On the other end, a few argued to restrict art to areas specified because of their own misguided, bureaucratic control. It’s difficult enough to encourage people to engage with art, but yes, let’s put more restrictions on where things should and should not go.

In front of an advanced painting class, I asked the budding artists why they were not “arting the rat” so to speak and putting art where the damn well please. We, the professor and I, cited a gallery in a locker, just to give them an example. “Because,” one student responded, “we don’t want to get into trouble.” The myth of the rebel artist had been revealed. We were all really people pleasers in the end. We all wanted to respect people’s sense of privacy and claims over territories after all.

I tried to talk about how the very philosophy surrounding the debates on the “appropriateness” of exhibition spaces and art projects reeked of censorship and truly limited our potential to make the arts a meaningful part of campus life by entering every line of sight, every point of access. People pointed fingers. Everyone had some certainty of how it came to be and who let it get so bad and how to make it better. “That computer lab is useless, let’s make it into a gallery” more than a few art professors suggested. My head would hang and I would simply sigh as I thought of the poor college students who, daily, used the computer lab because they didn’t have internet access at home much less a PC. One time, I sat in on a meeting with a ‘spacial needs assessment’ analyst (yet that’s a job) who asserted that the college of fine arts needed more space. Yes, more space! Growth! Good things! But who will pay for it and who will take care of it once it’s built? Me? Will there be another administrative line added to help out? Of course not.

The worst were the people who didn’t think there was a problem at all. But the simple and honest truth was that the war over the galleries was everyone’s fault. And I mean everyone. But then I was complicit too and I needed to find a way to be honest with myself and to talk about the issue in the only way I knew how: I would curate an exhibition about it. Institutional politics aside, I decided that the only site-specific exhibition at that place would not take place outside, or in a locker. The only site-specific exhibition I could produce needed to reflect and directly address the overall anxiety over territories that I had witnessed when it came to showing art in this very small part of the world. Thus, deTerritorlization. It embodies every argument, every philosophy about territories in the specific ring of the art world in the epitome of the high modernism’s art space: the giant white cube. It’s the cube to which I had been confined, curatorially speaking, for the years I worked there and it is the white cube many others worshipped and wanted to claim even as the cube confined them too. In short, we were all fighting it out in the white cube instead of demanding a greater slice of the pie outside of it.

Sometimes people ask, ‘How do you curate?” For this show, I literally had one thought in mind and it was a plant breaking through the crack of a foundation and growing up into the space where it supposedly did not belong. I wanted artists who could convey that image, that sense of breaking through a threshold we hold as permanent.

Jenny Kendler and Kim Beck’s work shows two ends of a similar philosophy: we claim space. Sometimes our take over is successful but oftentimes and eventually, we lose our claims-for how does one own air and earth, brick and mortar? Sometimes the natural ecology spits human advancement back out and off it. Sometimes our own man made signs, built to last, show they were in fact made to break. In short, our claims over territories are futile, flexible, and as much a social construct as anything else. But still, territory is what war is made of.

There is no such thing as a professional gallery space, much less an unprofessional gallery if we base that assumption on things inherent to the space itself: its lights, its walls, its entrance, its floor. The walls that box in an area do not define the space inside. The objects inside the walls define the spaces. The subject’s movement inside the walls defines the space. I wanted Beck’s fences and Kendler’s birds to call attention to the fact that the white cube had been compromised and that the sacredness of the white cube really doesn’t exist anyway. The white cube, its neutrality, its pristine beauty, is a figment of our art world imagination. Our monuments, our arrogance, will disappear long after we’re gone and other elements in nature will take its rightful place again. I know the artists who agreed to participate in the de Territorializaiton know that truth as well. Their work says so and it defines the space that it is in.


Then again, the bronze metal might be around for quite some time (into geologic time), but I’m hoping the art students will melt down the shitty sculptures in the sculpture walk and from that bronze make something better.

Sunday, July 12, 2015

hello again

I decided that it was time for me to start applying for exhibitions again. I've been making work and even showing work the last few months, but not applying for new exhibitions at all. Today, I looked online, on the usual site where I find postings, and found one exhibition that I will likely apply for.... only one.

For the first time, I am restraining myself from anxiously jotting down deadlines and applying for anything I can find on the listserv that might remotely connect to my work. Why? Because I know what I need: time to produce more work, access to quality facilities, and money wouldn't be bad either. So, I am finding the applying for exhibitions, well, tedious.

It could be that I am enduring a recent bout of jealously of other artists. They (and it really doesn't matter who) won some fancy-fance artist prize. They live in the hipster part of New York so of course they'll get into the residency I applied for.

Ick. I hate jealousy. But I feel it. Especially as a curator, I know them feels.

Time to start looking for a studio space/space to build my own darkroom. I can take care of the 'needing access to quality (or I'll even take crappy) facilities' part. I have been sitting on my butt for too long in getting going. Any recommendations about studio space hunting will be greatly appreciated.

Cheers!

a recent installation

Wednesday, February 25, 2015

Last day at the OAC

Today was my last full day at the OAC. I look forward to returning to the OAC, which will be the summer of 2016 or perhaps sooner.



Today’s temperature and sunshine gave me ample opportunity to go outside and shoot. I feel a bit sad that I am leaving now. With the warm weather, I can tell spring is just around the corner and the entire property will transform again.


I am glad to have spent most of February here. Working intensely on your art is a great way to pass the time during the dreary winter months.




And even with my initial frustration of having animals ‘on set,’ I will really miss the dogs, which came along with me on my photo shoots. I will especially miss my pal Murphy. I wish I could take him home with me, but I know I cannot give him so much freedom to run around and also, the cats would never forgive me.




Tomorrow I will drive back and then Friday, I return to the museum for work.  I look forward to planning my next residency.

Tuesday, February 24, 2015

Day 13

I attempted 3 shoots today on account of the sunshine and warmer weather but the wind fought me so I made only 2 photographs. With it being warmer, I slipped all over the property on the muddy hiking paths. Still, I am glad to be at the OAC in the winter. I spent most of the day outside with Murphy by my side. I know I would not explore as much in warmer weather, largely because of ticks and poison ivy. There is also no bad time to photograph outdoors this time of year. The light is at an angle all day and it is so diffused, there is no ‘ugly’ light.






Tomorrow, I have on the agenda two more new photo shoots, plus packing and cleaning the house before I depart Thursday.

Monday, February 23, 2015

Day 11 & 12

Yesterday and today, I felt like I returned to the world, surfaced for some air. Yesterday, after photographing again in the cold, I had the pleasure of watching the Oscars with other folks at the OAC. Today we went into town to the art center to measure the space to make a floor plan for our video exhibit next summer. I realize I haven’t left the property since my arrival and my return home is looming. Now I feel like I’m running out of time.





I’m not terribly worried about it but I will have to think about how to keep up my artistic practice once I return to regular life. Mark, the OAC director, said that most artists don’t know how to manage an art/work/life balance after their first stay at a residency. I know for sure that I want to attend another residency after my experience here. But I also want to go home. All of my clothes are covered in mud or who knows what else. The hiking and photographing outside in the cold is exhausting. I’m glad I pushed myself, but I can’t say I’ve treated the residency like a relaxing vacation. It is still a cathartic and fulfilling experience. I need to make 4 photographs in 2 days. That is on my mind.